It was Sorority International Badge Day in Wellesley this week, as you probably already knew, and Kappa Alpha Thetas, Gamma Phi Betas, Pi Beta Phis, and more joined together to wear their badges and reminisce about happy college times at mixers, homecoming dances and rush parties.
I had my usual pre-Badge Day anxiety when I received the invitation. What will I even wear? Do I have time to get a cut and color? And a mani-pedi? And a brow-y/chinny? Can I squeeze in 10 hot yoga classes before then? Not possible, I decide. Pull yourself together and just squeeze yourself into whatever gay apparel you end up donning, said my inner life coach. She’s a task-master and a bit shrill sometimes.
I ignored that unsupportive shrew and just showed up with cuticles ragged and roots showing. Of course, the Wellesley sisterhood took me in anyway, because that’s what sisters are for. I knew there was a reason that I said yes to this party for the fourth year running.
I was provided with and asked to read aloud a contemplative passage as we stood around in a circle holding battery-operated candles. It wasn’t as weighty as, say, a letter from John to the Corinthians (did they ever write back?), however it did cover those eternal sisterly themes of love, labor, learning, and loyalty.
So to all you closeted sorority women out there, and I know you’re out there, it’s time for you to get on next year’s mailing list so that you can meet others who misspent their youth. You’ll be surprised at how well everyone’s turned out, despite it all. And when we meet each other at last and start to feel all sisterly, before you know it, I’ll have convinced you to teach me your sorority’s bawdiest song. Then we’ll belt it out together, with a Mona Lisa smile and a solid sense of irony.
If this is the first you’ve heard about all this International Badge Day stuff, no worries. Sorority gals are creatures of tradition, so of course there will be more of the same next year. Just get on the email list and you, too, can dig out your badge and sister it up on the next big day. Contact our fearless leader at firstname.lastname@example.org, and OMG I can’t wait to meet you!!!!
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