Editor’s note: It has been two months since the tragic passing of Natalie Gubbay, age 26. Natalie, a Wellesley High School graduate, died on October 23, in Minneapolis, Minnesota, in a senseless car accident caused by a reckless drunk driver. She was waiting at a stop light, coming home from a trivia night with friends.
Her family has sent words of remembrance on the two-month anniversary without their daughter and sister.
Remembering Natalie
It has been two months. Two months of gut wrenching, soul stripping, physical and emotional, agonizing pain. In my journal I describe it as “feeling a hole inside us so large and empty and hollow that it is like having a severe stomach bug and a feeling of starvation at the same time. A huge anxious pit that can never go away.” Our dear, beautiful Natalie, aged 26, killed by a drunk driver while waiting at a stop light in downtown Minneapolis. The day after the crash, she was supposed to be on a plane to Charlottesville, visiting her 21-year-old sister Olivia and her Mom and Dad for parents’ weekend at UVA. She was so looking forward to it.
There is a before, and there is an after. We will never be the same.
It’s the holidays. We should be anticipating Natalie coming home to where she grew up in Wellesley, Massachusetts. Where she has never missed a Christmas or a Thanksgiving. She would be telling us her latest news from Minneapolis. How she was happy that she had completed her National Science Foundation Scholarship proposal and her PhD applications. She would be sitting in a coffee shop with friends, discussing books and gift swap ideas, going for a last run in the cold before getting on a plane home. Once here our usual activities would resume. Cooking for sure. The girls would take over the kitchen for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, much to our delight, and many adventurous vegetarian dishes would be conjured up. We would be going on walks and hikes, visiting friends and neighbors, sitting around the fire pit, playing games, Catan, hearts, spades or anything involving a ball from ping pong to pickle ball or paddle tennis, to throwing a football back and forth while walking the dog through the neighborhood, and of course, watching Harry Potter movies.
Natalie had virtually no social media, never had a TV. She lived in the real world around her, always active, always curious, talking with people, never sitting around. Every Thursday she volunteered teaching English to Spanish-speaking adults. She regularly gave her time at a homeless center. Her roommate told us that on hot days she would buy bottled water and hand it out to the homeless, and on frigid Minnesota winter days she would spend her money to buy hand warmers to hand out. Nat dedicated her personal time to helping others less fortunate, being present, connecting with others.
Natalie was a young adult about to embark on her next chapter. Soaring forth, with her characteristic drive of always caring for others, living simply and without excess, and bringing community with her. She was unique. A 26-year-old with a brilliant mind and a caring heart, an old soul daring to dream of a better world. Senselessly taken from us and the world just as she was coming into her own.
It’s hard to accept that we will never get our beautiful Natalie back.
Dear, beautiful Nat,
We love you so, so much,
But you were taken away
There’s nothing more to say
The poem ends
Soft, as it began
We miss you so, so much
Our dear, beautiful Nat.
Natalie has a memorial at Woodlawn Cemetery, which we refer to as Natalie’s Rock. As the engraving says, she will be in our hearts and minds forever.
We love you so much Nat,
Rachel (mom), Keith (dad) and Olivia (sister)
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